Have you been a victim of gossips and negative comments? How do you deal with it? If you want to know how to deal with gossips and toxic comments and what are the three essential things that you must know then read on.
I have gone through my fair share of ups and downs in life. I’ve made certain mistakes, learnt certain lessons and I’m making this article to share my experience, so that you don’t make the same mistakes that I did. But as when somebody says bad things about me and when I hear about it. I’ll really get sad and down and I did not know how to deal with it before.
So, I read and experimented a few things. I’ve tried a few things. Some work some did not. And these are the essential things that have the gossips and toxic comments. What are the three essential things that you must know? All of us have been subject to gossips and toxic comments sometimes they will say to his face, sometimes they will do it beyond back, sometimes they post it on social media and some of the things you won’t even know who started it and how he got it up.
But it just reaches you and when you hear it really hurts us. It sometimes can really get us done and especially now with the social media it’s so easy to post something without revealing identity. How do you deal with it? The first thing to remember is this. Everybody gets it whether you’re the queen of England you’re the president of United States or you’re the richest man on earth or you’re the prettiest person on earth the smartest doesn’t matter. Everybody gets it in fact I will say the higher you move up socially, politically, financially the more you will be subject to gossips and bad comments. It doesn’t matter whether you’re Mahatma Gandhi, mother Teresa, Alexander the Great, Albert Einstein. It doesn’t matter in fact all the people the movie stars the leaders the scientists, everybody gets it.
Well you might think this is obvious why is he saying this. I’m saying this because whenever somebody says something bad about us, we feel that it’s happening to us because we are not rich enough or powerful enough or pretty enough or smart enough. It does not go away just because the more richer you become or the smarter you become. It is not because you like something. That’s the first thing, that you must remember is fundamental. If you are born and you are living you will be subject to gossips and master comments. In fact, you’ll see even God himself does not escape from it heavenly experience. When we pray for something and we don’t get it or something unexpected or something bad happens to us, maybe we pray to God and in fact may be scold god and say ‘why are you doing this to me or why is this happening to me.
If God Himself is not exempt for me who are you, Who am I so don’t think that if only we become smarter or you become richer I become more famous more powerful that it will not happen to you. It is important to remember it happens to everybody every human being that has ever lived will ever live on this earth will get you’re not a special case you have not been singled out
The second point remembers this. Unless that person is an immediate family member your closest friends or someone that is really love, whoever is saying toxic things about you or gossiping about you do not care about you must remember that they do not have your interests at heart. They are not doing it because they think of you. This is something good for so-and-so. They are just saying it in the passing, they are not saying it because they care about you. The other thing is they have not given any thought to what they are saying. In fact, I can say that they would not have thought about you or the subject matter one second before saying and they would have forgotten about it two seconds after. If you ask them a few months after that or you even a year or two after that they’ll have totally forgotten about it. It is something that’s off their mind but you will carry it in your heart, you’ll carry the hurt and you will go on analyzing and thinking what is lacking in me what’s wrong you know you. You carry that hurt but that person who have said it might have forgotten about it and have not given any thought to it and will not give any thought to it.
Why should you give it that much of weight and talk then? If I can give you an example it is something like when you buy sweets or when you buy coffee, after unwrapping the sweet you would take the sweet and you throw away the wrapper. Same thing with coffee disposable cups, you drink coffee and then after that you through with the disposable cup or you try even tissue you know somebody uses tissue and then they throw it away. Gossips and toxic comments are just like those things. They are actually in garbage. They are somebody else’s garbage. It is just that they have thrown it in your direction and you have picked it up and you are carrying it with you throughout your life. You go on carrying accumulating picking up everybody else’s rubbish and you carry an over period of time.
Of course, you will stink because you’re carrying somebody else’s garbage. Just drop that garbage, don’t carry, refuse to carry the garbage and don’t pick up. Of course, if the comment comes from your parents and someone you love or loves you or your closest friend that’s a different matter. But here I’m talking about the general public or acquaintances, people who hardly know you or people who do not know you at all, they will give criticize, comments, remarks and gossip about you. I’m talking about those categories. So, drop it don’t care. They would not have given any thought to it and they will not give any thought to me either about the subject matter not knowing about you.
So, don’t give undue weight to it and carry it along with you and stop you from realizing your dreams, doing what you like to do or what you love to do. In fact, there’s a say ‘your opinion about me is none of my business’. If your life is going to be dictated by everyone else’s opinion about you, you’re never going anywhere. Because one person will say you go this way another person will say go that way. But you are one and it is up to you and you need to decide for yourself.
The third thing to remember is this. It’s a win-win situation for you. Why am I saying it’s a win-win is when somebody says something about you, there are only two possibilities, one it’s true the other one is not true. Of course, certain things partially true partially not true but you get the picture right. So, you can speed it up and say okay this is the truth this is not the truth. So, it’s either true or not true. Now let’s look at it if it’s true, if it’s true there are two possibilities one is that you can do something about it and the other is that you can’t do anything about it. The kind of things that you can’t do anything about it is your radius, your height, the way you look right. So, those are the things you can’t do anything about. It could be truth right, but you can’t do anything about it.
The other is it’s true and you can do something about it like say for instance the way you talk, if you want to do something about it. Then you have to try to do something about it, take it positively and use it your benefit to improve yourself right. So, if it’s true then use it to your benefit to improve yourself, if it’s not true then it’s not true. So why bother why worry and why lose sleep over something that’s not true. To those who really love you who care about you those things don’t matter right it’s not true so either it’s true or not true you win either way. So, it’s a win-win situation for you.
So always remember that you win either way. Say I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to my expectations remember them. So, to recap what are the three fundamental things to remember versus even the Queen of England is not exempt. There are no exceptions everybody gets it. So, remember that you have not been victimized you have not been singled out. It’s not because you like something it’s not because you’re incomplete. So put things in perspective and learn to deal with second point remember is don’t carry somebody else’s garbage remember.
Unless the person is your immediate family or closest friend, they don’t care about you and they have not given any thought to the subject matter. So, it’s just garbage and why do you want to carry somebody else’s garbage and the third thing to remember is whether it’s true or not true you win either way. It’s a win-win situation for you so there you have it. These are some of the lessons that I’ve learned some of the things that I’ve observed.